DCWhip

Nov 5

“There’s only one thing to take to a Kenyan election victory feast: a goat. Preferably still breathing - “a sign of freshness“ - and with big testicles, apparently the sign of quality breeding. And so it was that I found myself bouncing along a dirt track towards the ancestral home of the Obamas in a saloon car with the sound of John the goat bleating miserably from the boot. It had not been easy finding such a quality specimen. The local livestock market had mostly sheep and cattle, with only a few scrawny goats on hand. Instead, John was spotted at the side of the road by my driver George, who was impressed by the size of its belly and, well, other attributes.
Related Links * Americans flood to polling booths * Was this the funniest American election ever? * The Top 25 websites for US election obsessives He was mine for 2500 shillings, a little under £20, and roughly the price of 20 pints of beer or eight malaria-proof bednets. “This is a fine animal,” said Abongo Malik Obama, at the lush family homestead in the far west of Kenya, surrounded by grazing cattle and fields thick with maize. “You are certainly welcome now to stay and sit around the fire tonight.” By then John will be nyama choma - the Swahili term for grilled meat. He was to be only one small part of a vast celebration feast starting last night and comprising four bulls, 16 chickens and assorted sheep and goats.” Barack Obama’s Kenyan family to celebrate by slaughtering bulls, chicken and goats - Times Online

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Nov 5

via blog.lehighvalleylive.com

Awesome victory, etc… but seriously, Michelle, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!?!

Dear RNC,

Kindly send your wardrobe advisors our way. We’re already shopping at Needless, we just (apparently) need help not buying Bad Idea Outfits.

And what’s with the sparkly clips on the little girls’ outfits! At least — sigh — at least it’s better than the flame dress.

But seriously, RNC, spare us some dressing help. Just don’t send us whoever you had working with Cindy. GAG.

Love,

The DCWhip Writer

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Nov 5

Five Things White People Shouldn't Do | Election | TheRoot.com

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Oct 29

Female US veterans suffer sexual trauma: study - Yahoo! News

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Aug 7

“A group of senior military officers in Mauritania arrested the country’s president and prime minister on Wednesday in a bloodless coup against the first freely elected government there in more than 20 years.”

Army Officers Seize Power in Mauritania - NYTimes.com

Um. Oh shit.

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Aug 7

“Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick was taken to the county jail Thursday and will spend at least one night there for violating his bond.”

Detroit Mayor Ordered Jailed - NYTimes.com

Thank you, God! I knew you were out there even though Santa forgot about my Little Miss Pretty Play With Me Pony! But now I know that Good DOES win. If you screw around with your city’s money and you may or may not have screwed around with a city hooker and your wife may or may not have been involved in her mysterious death, you won’t just be let off because your Mama’s a Good Doin, Son-Done-Shamed-Her, Successful Black Woman in Congress.

“How dare he” is a little too cliche. I’ll settle for “I hope your Mama smacks you somethin good for all this trouble, son.”

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Aug 7

“After wisely deciding that the massive John Edwards love child scandal is, in fact, a news story deserving of coverage, the Democratic politician’s home-state newspaper the Raleigh News & Observer used basic journalism to uncover some interesting new information. Although Edwards’ apparent mistress Rielle Hunter has claimed since even before her child was born that it was fathered by married Edwards aide Andrew Young, and even though Young issued a statement confirming this, the name of the father has been omitted from the child’s birth certificate.”

Edwards Love Child: No Father On Birth Certificate

no baby daddy… it’s got to be edwards!!! this is just fool-proof science, people. in fact, those four kids of mine are *actually* an edwards, kennedy, clinton (those pesky internships…), and a trump. i’m throwing the last one in for the sake of the $$$ and media attention. kids, get over here! start looking clean for TV! i told you to put that cigarette down, i won’t be no britney spears!

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Jul 6

“Mr. McCain should be required to see “Wall-E” to learn just how far adrift he is from an America whose economic fears cannot be remedied by his flip-flop embrace of the Bush tax cuts (for the wealthy) and his sham gas-tax holiday (for everyone else). Mr. Obama should see it to be reminded of just how bold his vision of change had been before he settled into a front-runner’s complacency. Americans should see it to appreciate just how much things are out of joint on an Independence Day when a cartoon robot evokes America’s patriotic ideals with more conviction than either of the men who would be president.” Op-Ed Columnist - Wall-E for President - Op-Ed - NYTimes.com

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Jul 1

“Over the past several years, the highly educated coastal rich have been engaged in a little culture war with the inland corporate rich. This is a war over values, leadership styles and social networks. Socially liberal knowledge workers naturally want to see people like themselves at the head of society, not people who used to run Halliburton and who are supported by a vast army of evangelicals. If the Democrats are elected, this highly educated class will have much more say over policy than during the campaign. Undecided voters sway campaigns, but in government, elites generally run things. Once the Republicans are vanquished, I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for that capital gains tax hike or serious measures to expand unionization. Over the past few years, people from Goldman Sachs have assumed control over large parts of the federal government. Over the next few they might just take over the whole darn thing.” Op-Ed Columnist - Obama’s Money Class - Op-Ed - NYTimes.com

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Jun 19

“An MDC spokesman accused supporters of President Robert Mugabe of being behind the deaths, ahead of next week’s poll. The body of Harare’s recently elected opposition mayor’s wife has also reportedly been found, badly burnt. Tanzania, current chair of the African Union, says there is every sign the election will not be free and fair.”

BBC NEWS | Africa | Zimbabwe activists’ bodies found

oh, no. I consider badly burnt opposition wives a sign of a VERY free and fair election. CIA, come on!

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